Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Learning To Accept My Brachymetatarsia

   When I was younger I used to love wearing flip flops and would wear them all of the time. I wasn't self-conscious about my feet regardless of the fact that I have always had small feet; in fact, right now I am a size three in kids. I was little and I could care less about the fact that people were always staring at my feet. Besides, everyone always found my feet "so cute". When I was in sixth grade, I began to realize that there was something wrong with my fourth toe on my left foot, which is probably around the time that it stopped growing. Family and friends began to comment on it and stare at my feet for completely new reasons. I began to feel ashamed and as a result began to cover my feet much more. Gone were the days when I would carelessly wear a variety of different colored and printed flip flops.
    Brachymetatarsia is when one of the bones in your toes stops growing. Usually, this occurs in your fourth toe, but it really depends on the person. Some people have this problem on both feet, and some people have this problem in their pinkies instead of their fourth toes. I never really knew how common this genetic disorder was until I googled it, but apparently its pretty common. You know what's also common? The shame that comes with it. Almost everyone who talked about it said that they were ashamed of it. Apparently I'm not the only person who refuses to wear sandals, and who makes sure to always wear socks-no matter what. I thought that this problem had gotten the worse of me; but compared to other people I don't have it that bad with my shame. I read stories about people who are thirty years old and are still ashamed of being barefoot in front of their spouses. I also read stories of people who refuse to show their feet to their own family members. My friends might not know about my foot problem, but my family knows exactly what my feet look like. Sure there are people out there that have come to terms with their brachymetatarsia. But there are far more people who are ashamed of their feet, so ashamed that their feet are always covered. There are some people whom even decide to turn to surgery solely for cosmetic reasons. I find it all incredibly sad; I mean there are other people whom have problems that are much worse then our's. Now I'm not saying that what we have is no big deal, because to those of us that have it, it is a huge deal. But there are people whom have deformities on other areas of their bodies that they can't hide and despite this, these people have come to terms with who they are and have accepted themselves. Yet people who have brachymetatarsia still find it difficult to accept themselves. Maybe it has to do with the fact that we actually have the option to hide our "deformity". If we didn't have this option maybe we would have accepted it long ago. I am tired of living with being ashamed about my own feet because they don't define who I am. And if anyone truly has a problem with it, well then, they don't have to interact with me. No one should live in embarrassment of who they are or have to resort to surgery to feel better. I'm not going to lie and say that it's cute or a piece of art; it is just a toe. A toe that happens to be smaller then the rest. I don't know if in the future I will decide to have surgery performed on my toe. If I do it won't be because I am embarrassed of it, or feel lesser with it. It will be because it will help my feet not feel so tired all of the time. But for now I am happy just being me-with my small toe and all. This doesn't mean that I will proudly show it to everyone who I encounter. It just means that I won't let it affect my life and allow it keep me from doing the things I want to do. Things like walking barefoot around the beach, pool, or my own dorm room. Let them stare and talk, ultimately, their actions will be their own undoing. The people who truly matter will love you just the way you are.

25 comments:

  1. Thank you for writing this, even if this post is a few years old by now. I am just starting to see how other people handle their brachymetatarsia, after struggling with my shame about it for years, and it has kick started me into trying new things like wearing sandals this summer and not worrying about what others think. It's gonna be hard, but I am at least gonna try instead of hiding it all the time.

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  2. Hello, thank you for commenting on this post. I'm really glad that you decided to venture out by wearing sandals and caring less about what others think about you and you're feet. I understand how difficult this can be, but you can do it!

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  3. Hi, I much older than you and I still have problems wearing open toe shoes in public for fear of embarrassment. I have the short toe on both feet. Only my family sees my feet.

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    1. Hi,

      Thank you for your comment! I apologize for the long delay in responding. I know how difficult it can be to put yourself out there in that way but a good way to start embracing your differences could be to ease into it. Maybe start out by going out in public like to the supermarket or mall or even a park with sandals or shoes that expose you feet? That you way can begin to get more comfortable with having others see your toes. And as time progresses you can start wearing more exposing shoes out in public so that your confidence can grow.

      I hope this helps!

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  4. I hate my feet. I have this issue on my left foot and the rest of my toes are stubby while my big toe is large and summertime shoe shopping is always miserable for me. I still try to find sandals that hide my "funny" toe but I sometimes just resign myself to feeling self conscious. Thanks for sharing this.

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  5. I love my feet. Yet it's different it's me. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Yeah people look. Counting my toes. It has never bother me. I was reading about the horrible ways to correct it. Wow. Is it worth it. I've seen even toes that were ugly. My are beautiful and I'm sure all you guys whose posted has beautiful feet. Don't worry about what anyone says. Unless you have problems walking love your self.

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  6. I love you story... I too suffer with Brachymetatarsia and spent many years not showing my feet. i have always avoided wearing flip flops and always hid my feet when I went to friends houses as a child.

    But its great to now know the condition exists and can be fixed if people want to. However i'm not going down the surgery route.. I've lived with it for 38 years i''m sure it wont change who i am so instead i now wear the shoes I choice and don't care who is staring at me :)

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  7. Here I am today, a 16 year old still trying to figure out how to accept this through all the jokes and bullying ever since I started school. Sometimes I think that maybe no one will ever fall in love with me because of that. I know I haven't got it worse than the so many people suffering from so many hard thing but I am trying to be strong and sometimes it just doesn't work. Guess what, I'm just trynna live with it

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  8. I have been struggling for years to be confident with my Brachymetatarsia. My grandfather had short 3rd and 4th toes on both of his feet, I think it attributed to his unsteadiness later on in life for him. My mother has short 3rd and 4th toes on both feet affected as well, she also says she is starting to feel off balance. I only have the 4th toes on both feet, I fortunately don't feel off balance ...yet, I'm still young so I suppose I'll have to wait and see. Besides the staring and pointing (yes.. pointing), jokes and shame I've felt over the years I am slowly starting to embrace my feet. I had surgery on the right toe and wore and external fixator for a few months but that didn't work for me. Has anyone else felt off balance with brachymetatarsia?

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  9. Glad to hear you’re so confident! Honestly I also thought that I was the only one who had this. I have it on both feet. My family started to notice this condition when I was just 4 years old. I never really went to a foot doctor but I did go to a regular doctor who advised me to go to one. He had no idea what it was, and at the time I believed I was the only one who had this condition. Growing up I didn’t really care all too much, I think it was in the 7th grade that I truly started to cover them up. Flats became my go to shoes since. I still wear flats in public today as well. My family are the only ones who see my feet. But I guess this just become such a norm for me and it’s literally the least of my problems too. I don’t think about it every single day as I once did.

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  10. I also remember praying for a cure at one point. The surgery seemed to drastic and I never considered it as an option.

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  11. Hey,I'm 19,I have this on both of my feets. I had tears in my eyes while reading your story and the following comments. I just tried to accept myself as I am but it's not easy. I'm still confused that should I go for a surgery. I really don't know bout that but I would like to consult a doctor.If nothing happens, it will take time for me to heal. I wish I could easily go through this.

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  12. Thank you for your story. I never knew my condition had a name for it. I accepted my little toe since day one. I had a family tell me to hide it or I would never get married. Ha. How mean. lol. I love every part of me. I wear sandals. I get pedicures. I walk barefoot on the beach and the pool. i am not ashamed. It is the world that has a problem. I will not conform to societies standard. I love me.

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  13. How can I come into contact with you?

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  14. Thanks so much for this post, it has really changed my life and the way i feel about myself. Anyway it won't be easy showing off those short toes to everyone but i try not to hide it anymore. Thanks so much for the encouragement

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  15. I need your opinion if i should tell my best friend about my toe. We have been best friends for about 1 year.

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    1. Yes tell him or her. It makes you feel free.

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    2. How did you do it?
      We can connect via Snapchat if you have it:
      mikayl.anicole

      Delete
    3. How did you do it?
      We can connect via Snapchat if you have it:
      mikayl.anicole

      Delete
    4. How did you do it?
      We can connect via Snapchat if you have it:
      mikayl.anicole

      Delete
    5. How did you do it?
      We can connect via Snapchat if you have it:
      mikayl.anicole

      Delete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. Thank you for writing this. Finally, I found myself I'm not alone in this world. Not feel insecure if I am wearing flip flop haha. Tq u so much I love yall!! <3

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  18. Hi i just wanna ask question about this.. Because my daughter who is 6 yrs today is also having a toe deformaties like brachymetatarsia.. Im worried if this will affect her physical growth.? Like shes getting taller and taller.. I was thinking if it will affect her.. And the growth of her foot..

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